Please indulge me...

...in a bit of personal whining. All morning I've been wondering how I would do this with a kid around, because I feel lousy. Plain and simple lousy. Not H1N1, I promise. It's caffeine withdrawal, which happens every Sunday (particularly those that follow Shabbatot when I have not left my apartment), causing me to go to 7-11 to buy a too-large soda, starting the cycle all over. The problem is that I'm trying desperately to detox myself; I only drink caloric soda which is bad for oh-so-many reasons, and in particular because I'm trying to lose about 15 pounds. None of my clothes fit, you see.

But I spent my entire drive home from South Carolina (the last stop of my road trip) thinking about all the things that I want to do (not "need" to do--that's just a set up for guilt--but actually want to do) in my life and my apartment:

• apply for a job that I tried to apply for a few months ago
  
• sort out my knitting supplies (that have suddenly become remarkably unwieldy)
• clean my kitchen
• and in general unclutter my apartment (it is REALLY bad)

Well, I spent a lot of Shabbat sleeping and recovering from all the time spent on the road, and then vegging in the living room with book after book, and being eager for Shabbat to be over so that I could get started on my to-do list. And I did a pretty good job, though at some point I switched from cleaning my apartment to cleaning my Google reader, and I went to bed excited to get up this morning and be productive.

Instead, I woke up with a headache. I sat at my computer to start the cover letter for that job mentioned above, and ended up sitting on the sofa with my eyes closed for two hours. It's rainy and chilly and I'd love to bake bread, but I think that standing up to make the dough might kill me. I don't have any fresh food in my apartment (you know, since I was away for two weeks) but don't have the motivation to go to the supermarket. *Sigh*

Okay, done whining now. I hope.