Friday, July 16, 2010

Ridiculousness and birthday party update

Thanks for your feedback on the birthday party issue! I decided to bite the bullet and do Chuck E. Cheese--Sabrina would be happy, I could invite her family, etc.

Then I went to court.

Dad's ICPC petition was denied. So dad isn't getting custody.

But Sabrina can stay with him for the rest of the summer.

So I'm off the hook for planning a birthday party at all.

Sabrina will get some therapy to prepare her for coming back to me when school starts, so it isn't a horrible shock for her (though it will still be horrible for her!), and dad is considering moving into our jurisdiction so he can get custody, and the agency will look at dad's sister as a possible placement.

And mom is just crazy.*

*The GAL's assessment, not mine!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Birthday party ideas?

HELP! Sabrina's birthday is in about a month, and all this time I've been assuming that she would be with her dad for her birthday. Ever since November she has been insistent that she is having her birthday at Chuck E. Cheese. Oy. Madame Naivete that I am, I never thought Sabrina was still going to be with me, then there was this whole summer thing, and so I also never tried to talk her down from that idea.

I don't believe in planning a party that requires us to drive 40 minutes or more to get to when we live in a city with all sorts of fun things to do.

Am I being selfish? Should I "give in" and scope out Chuck E. Cheese (where I haven't been since a birthday party when I was 6)? What are non-Chuck E. Cheese similar ideas?

Monday, July 12, 2010

Public Service Announcement

I went to the Children's Place outlet yesterday, and in 15 minutes for $100, I bought a full (that should read "full") two weeks worth of clothes for Sabrina. Shirts, pants, shorts, and a spring jacket. All $4.99 or less. I assume they are having the same discounts at all of their outlets. But I also assume that supply will dwindle. (Ooh, anyone get the West Wing reference?)

Friday, July 9, 2010


Sabrina's dad didn't call me back, but I talked to Wilma and am not stressing too much. She'll talk to dad during the week and then I'll call him to make plans to pick Sabrina up and bring her back to my house for the rest of the summer. I've enrolled her in camp (holy smokes the JCC is expensive, thank goodness for a friend who reminded me about the city's recreation department for a sixth the cost) for the last four weeks of the summer and only have to worry about one week of finding supervision and activity for her.

Court is Friday (did I say it was on Thursday yesterday? I put it on my calendar wrong, oops) and who really knows what the judge will do. Wilma doesn't know what the basis is for the report she gave me that it "doesn't look good" for placement with dad. That is what she was told by the ICPC folks in the agency, but she hasn't seen a written report with justification.

Since I won't be seeing Sabrina this Sunday, I have another week to clean up the disaster area that my apartment has become in the last three weeks--really, it is worse than it was before even though I was supposed to be using this time to make it better--make some dentist appointments, make a back-to-school physical appointment, buy play clothes, figure out what to send with her for lunches to camp (if I need to; since it is through the city, the summer nutrition--that is, summer carryover of the free lunch program--program might provide lunches at camp), and do about a gazillion other things.

After court, I'll register her for school.

No clue if anyone else in Sabrina's family will be available as an alternative placement. All I know is that Wilma reports that mom has been asked for other options, and she hasn't given any (at least, not any who she has already asked if they would be willing).

So we'll see what happens, and we'll see what becomes of the weekend visits with dad.

And in the meantime, I am going to spend this evening reading in front of the air conditioner.

Shabbat shalom!

Thursday, July 8, 2010


Sabrina has been staying with her dad since school ended (actually since the Friday before school ended, because she was home sick that Monday so her dad just took her to school for the last day and then picked her up). She needs to spend an unspecified number of nights with me every thirty days so that her being with dad isn't a "placement." So I called dad on Monday and made arrangements to pick her up on Sunday. Today I called to firm up details and he said "oh, this Sunday? We have plans this weekend."

Court is next Thursday.

Wilma (social worker) emailed me today to say that she doesn't have the written report, but that the oral report is not good for dad getting custody. I emailed her back asking what that means about visits. There's also a ton of other family. If this means that we'll be indefinitely and semi-permanently in a state of 4-nights-with-me-3-nights-with-dad I am going to have to have some serious words with someone. Because that just isn't working out for me. (As in, it's not good for Sabrina, even though it is good for her to see her family.)

Wilma's email also implied that I should be figuring out what to do with Sabrina during the day for the rest of the summer. Because of course all sorts of good camps have openings still halfway through the summer. (And most of what I've found is only for half days. This makes sense, as she is only 4. But I'm not good at simultaneous planning--lining up a babysitter AND camps at the same time.)

So that's where we are. Limbo, as all good foster care placements should be. (Hi, Sarcasm? It's just me calling. How are ya?)