Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Terminology

Just last night I was thinking that it might be time to talk to Sabrina more about why she lives with me, how I don't know how long it's going to last, etc. Yes, I should have been talking to her about this all along, and it's not to say that I haven't been, just that it was time for something more in depth. (Age appropriate, but more in depth.) I've never used the phrase "foster care" or "foster mom" with her. Whenever someone at her school asks me "is she your daughter?" I answer that "she is just living with me for a while."

But this morning, she asked me "are you my foster mother?"

I don't know who has been using that phrase with her, but she and I are clearly on the same wavelength!

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3 comments:

  1. Just MeOctober 3, 2010 at 3:18 PM

    So, I'm finally on the computer and actually left a comment and then my computer "ate" it...

    Anyway, what I was GOING to say was that even though the girls have been with me nearly 4 months, I have somehow managed to keep the introductions minimally awkward. It's a lot easier when I just have the little one and can quietly say something about who she is. Friday night, however, we were at a bonfire with some of my aunt's family and friends and had to make an introduction. After I introduced them as my foster daughters, I felt really bad and apologized to the teenager. I'll have to ask her how she'd like to be introduced the next time. At least this wasn't as awkward as a couple of weeks ago when a (crazy) woman from church yelled "Congratulations!" to me...I was like "What are you talking about?!" The poor teenager!

    I'm not sure how long I'll have the girls either, but it sounds like they may be well into the transition back home since visits are now unsupervised. I'm really hoping that someone can get through to the teenager and find out her thoughts about going home prior to being fully transitioned home!

    Being a foster mom is tough, but definitely rewarding. You're doing a great job!

    :)

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  2. BrynaOctober 4, 2010 at 11:58 AM

    I have to recommend the book "Maybe Days" - it's a book for kids in foster care and our 9 y/o LOVES it. It might help a little

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  3. starevelinaOctober 5, 2010 at 6:02 PM

    I'll second the "Maybe Days" recommendation. We have it and have used it from toddlers on up. The little ones don't really get all of it, but I think it's good for them to hear the terms and to have a sense of normalcy when we talk about foster care. For older ones (I'd say 5-10), I imagine they'd love it because it's right in their range, provides a nice explanation, and understands their feelings without being too down- it ends on a positive note about being themselves. Good book!
    Kate

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