Advice sought

Faithful readers and dear friends (as I consider you, even though we don't know each other), I have two questions on my mind that I would appreciate help with.

1. My Licensing Worker is coming on Wednesday afternoon for a second visit. I don't know if other jurisdictions require two visits or if it's an idiosyncrasy of mine, but I'm wondering what to expect. The first visit had the interview, measuring the space, checking to make sure that I don't have guns lying around... What do you think will happen this visit?

2. I know that I am going to have to keep good records once I have a kiddo in my home. I can be very organized when someone else gives me the system I need to follow. How do you organize your records? By this, I don't mean "I have a three-ring binder and keep documents in those plastic sleeves" or "I scan all of the documents and keep them on my computer." I mean something along the lines of "I have a binder for each kiddo, and each binder has the following sections: important dates, medical records, receipts, photos...."

Thanks in advance for your help!

Faith

[Disclaimer-type intro #1: The topic for this post came to me as I was thinking from one thing to another on my way home from work. Chalk it up to my active brain, and perhaps a little boredom due to a religiously motivated lack of music. Don't bother asking.]

[Disclaimer-type intro #2: I even started writing this in my head as I was walking home. It was brilliant and insightful. I can't promise that I will be able to replicate it, as I got distracted by cake and ice cream as soon as I got home.]

Frequently, especially in more Orthodox settings, the expression of one's Jewishness comes through actions--keeping kosher, going to synagogue, fasting on one of the many fast days, wearing a kippah--rather than through statements of faith. (Setting aside the ubiquitous-in-some-communities "how are you?" "thank G-d" greetings.) And I expect, though without re-reading my previous posts to see if this applies already, that this will come through in this blog. Why is it important to have a blog dedicated to "frum fostering"? Because of the practical, action-related issues. Can the kiddo/should the kiddo go to shul with you? What happens when the kiddo wants a cheeseburger? What do you do about Christmas? Less often is the question "my foster kiddo is out of control; I don't know what to do, and I'm questioning G-d." Or maybe I'm just making assumptions. Okay, I probably am just making assumptions.

But the point is that we generally don't get all sappy mushy when talking about G-d and faith.

So I hope that my portrayal of Judaism as all action (and by that, I mean action of the type suggested above, rather than Action to bring goodness/repair to the world) and no--or almost no--faith doesn't mislead you to think that I don't have a strong faith or that I am acting for show. It's just the way we talk.

When did you realize you were an adult?

One of my favorite magazines is running a contest--write an essay about the first time you realized you were an adult (or something to that effect) and you could win...I don't remember, something good. I'd love to enter the contest; when I'm writing for real and not for this blog, I think I write reasonably well. (After gratefully testing out of freshman composition in college, I proceeded to take three upper-level classes in the writing department. That's a whole 'nother story.) Though I do have a tendency to overuse parentheses.

But I can't because I'm having fears that I'm not responsible enough to be an adult. BIG fears. I think they're founded. For example, yesterday I went to pay my credit card bill, more than a week late, and learned at the same time that I had overdrawn my checking account not once, but twice. (On the same day, with two checks written to the same cause. I'm going to be going to the bank to throw myself on their mercy and beg for one of the fees to be credited to me. $36 seems a reasonable punishment for being irresponsible. $72 seems like usury.)

That wasn't my only irresponsibility yesterday. Okay, to be honest, neither of those were yesterday. I just realized them yesterday. When I was in law school, I received an award from my clinic for "most likely to be caught playing a computer game in the hours before the bar exam." The only reason that I wasn't, actually, caught playing a computer game was that I was spending the night in a motel by the testing location. I haven't grown out of my default position of playing games. Every day I say to myself "I am NOT going to play games while I'm at work!" Reasonable enough, right? But it seems that the more adamant I am, the more I disobey my own rules. Yesterday--two games of Big Kahuna Reef (which really is pretty pointless when you have managed to get through all 10 levels and there is no longer a challenge) and more games of Alchemy. And that was just while at work. Meanwhile, I have a not-quite-lease that I'm supposed to be writing by tomorrow. And not getting very far. (Note: I'm actually just revising a previous not-quite-lease to change the program terms. Note 2: I don't have a clue what I'm doing. Note 3: I checked the rules of professional conduct for my jurisdiction to make sure that I'm not providing incompetent representation. I think I'm okay, unfortunately. I'd hoped to use that as a reason why I shouldn't be doing this project.)

So today as I was walking to work I changed the terms of my deal with myself. I could use any Google product as distractions from my misery. Gmail, my blog reader, and gchat. If I stuck with that today, I would be really proud of myself.

Well, guess what? Blogger counts, too. But no, this wasn't really just a long post to lead to the conclusion that "I get to waste time blogging today because Blogger is related to Google, hooray!"

It's really about my BIG fear that I'm not responsible enough to be an adult. And, by extension, a parent. Do all childless people feel this fear when a child is actually on its way, by whatever means?

I know, while I'm moaning about waking up in the morning, tripping over eight pairs of shoes to go to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wanting nothing more than to go back to bed, that I won't be able to do that when there is a kiddo in my home. I know that I won't be able to come home from work, put on my PJs, and sit on the couch watching 4 episodes of MASH on DVD instead of applying for new jobs, washing dishes, and cleaning up the blueberry soup that I spilled all over the kitchen last Friday. I know that I'll actually have to think in advance about what to prepare for Shabbat meals each week. I know, I know, I know. But I haven't been able to make any changes in my routines in preparation. Is this normal? Will things fall into place when a kiddo comes along?

And so, when did I realize I am an adult? I haven't yet. I'll let you know when I do.

Coincidences

My work cell phone just rang. Lo and behold, it was a call for Agency director's chief of staff (bottom paragraph)!

Lead Update. Again.

As you, my faithful readers know, the hold up in my licensing is due to the fact that my apartment failed its initial lead inspection. And it isn't so much that my apartment failed that is the hold up (my landlord very graciously and very timely made the needed repairs once given the go-ahead) but the crazy mixed-up communication that I have gotten--or not--from the agency. Today, I share with you a chronology of the past few weeks:

• June 1-5 (if I'm remembering correctly!)--landlord made repairs to my apartment
• June 24--landlord received report from contractor and forwarded it to me by email
• June 24--I forwarded contractor's report to Licensing Worker (is that what I've been calling her?)
• June 25--Licensing Worker reported forwarding report to Lead Person. LW expressed the possibility that Lead Person might need the original
• June 30--emailed another document to Licensing Worker and asked if she had heard from Lead Person regarding whether the lead report had been approved. Did not receive response.
• July 6--called Licensing Worker because email on June 30 had also proposed July 8 as a date for her second visit. (I had to be home all day for the phone company, and it made sense to me to minimize my time off from work. It's all about efficiency. However, LW had "an appointment" on the 8th so couldn't come then. Instead she is coming on July 22.) During our conversation, LW told me that she had not heard back yet from Lead Person. When I then asked if she thought that it might be effective if I contacted LP, LW basically said sure, then added "don't tell her that I told you to call her."
• July 6--emailed Lead Person:

  [Lead Person],
  I am eager to have my licensing complete; could you confirm
  that you have received the lead report for my apartment ([address]), that the
  report is sufficient as received, that my apartment is approved, and that this
  has all been communicated to the licensing worker ([Licensing Worker])?
  Thank you. I look forward to hearing from you.

• July 10--called Lead Person and left a message, since I hadn't heard back from her.
• July 13, 12pm--called Lead Person. First she claimed not to know what I was talking about when I asked her about the report forwarded to her by Licensing Worker. She never acknowledged the email I sent last week. We had an interesting conversation that went something like this:

Me: Hi, [Lead Person]. This is [Foster Ima], calling about the report [Licensing Worker] forwarded to you about my apartment.

LP: I don't know what you're talking about. [Licensing Worker] didn't forward me any reports.

Me: Oh, well, [Licensing Worker] indicated that she had forwarded it to you and mentioned the possibility that the PDF might not be sufficient, and that you might need an original.

LP: [Snottily.] That isn't the process. The contractor who did the inspection needs to clear the property.

Me: What do I need to do to have that happen?

LP: You don't have to do anything. [Eye roll. Annoying foster parents.] The social worker has to fill out the paperwork and call me to send an inspector out. It is not the responsibility of the foster parent. I'll call [Licensing Worker] and have her call you back.

Me: Thank you.

I think that I might have also made some comment along the lines of "well, obviously I didn't know all of this, so was I supposed to just sit here and wait for nothing to happen?"

• July 13, 12:15pm--Lead Person called me back. This in itself was a miracle, but even more miraculously, she had found the report the Licensing Worker had forwarded to her. Licensing Worker is out of the office today, so Lead Person forwarded report to [Highly Paid With Taxpayer Dollars Inspector] and that he would call me to schedule a time to come out to my apartment. I clarified the next steps in the process with her: Inspector will send clearance report to Lead Person. Lead Person will provide clearance report to Licensing Worker. Licensing Worker can license property. I sigh, thank her, and silently hope that I can get Inspector to come at the same time as Licensing Worker (see above re: efficiency). I hang up and consider calling Inspector myself.
• July 13, 12:35pm--Lead Person again calls. Guess what? In a complete 180, they have decided that the report from my landlord's contractor is sufficient! Lead Person sent notification to Licensing Worker and all I need to do is call LW tomorrow to make sure she does what she needs to do. Is this possibly too good to be true?

Of course, this doesn't really address the problem that apparently my Licensing Worker doesn't know what the licensing process is, at least for properties that initially fail the lead inspection. (I live in a Big City. I imagine that most of our old homes fail initially.)

But I'm no longer ready to go complaining to the Agency director's chief of staff (I think that I get to skip a few levels since I occassionally still get phone calls for her on my work cell phone; she had the number before she transferred to the Agency), so that's a positive outcome. Maybe, just maybe, I'll be licensed before school starts. A year, that's totally reasonable, right?

Optimism

Clearly I've been expressing too much optimism in the past few days, thinking that the only step remaining (always with a disclaimer that I could be wrong) is the licensing worker's second visit. I have to be home all day on Wednesday for the phone company person to come--a saga that I have not regaled bored you with--so I emailed the licensing worker asking if she could come then. Of course she didn't respond to my email, and when I called her just an hour ago, she said that she has "an appointment", I think only one, on Wednesday, so she cannot come. She can, however, come on the 22nd. Two more weeks. AND: she needs me to give her another copy of the fire inspection report because the fax that I got from the fire department wasn't legible enough (I only have a better copy because our fax machine in my office got fixed; if that hadn't happened, I would have only the horrible copy that I provided), and she hasn't heard back from the Lead Person at the agency. She suggested that she would just wait until she hears from Lead Person ("lead" as in the metal, the one that I've been having problems with, not as in "head honcho"). I didn't think that was sufficient, as I'll never get licensed at that rate. Clearly Lead Person doesn't care about getting foster parents licensed. And clearly Licensing Worker is content to let the pieces fall, or not, as they might. Licensing Worker said "sure, you can contact Lead Person, but don't say that I told you to call her!" Hm, is the problem actually with Licensing Worker?

So now I have another two weeks 'til the second half of my home study, and unknown steps after. And we'll see if Lead Person actually responds to my email.

New plates

According to the shipping-tracking website, my new plates have arrived! When I get home, we will see if they are ugly or cool.