I am hereby confessing to the blogosphere my naivete:
I spoke this afternoon with Licensing Worker's supervisor. Let's call her She Deserved The Promotion Worker (SDTPW)--she was the other worker who taught my training class and it was clear from day one that she was better than Licensing Worker. (Licensing Worker also took vacation the last two weeks of the class. But that's a different story.)
The unnecessary background is that I emailed Licensing Worker on Tuesday asking for an update; I received her out-of-office reply (that she would be out last week) which included that SDTPW is now her supervisor. So when I hadn't heard back from her by this morning, I emailed SDTPW--who then called me in response. Woohoo!
SDTPW tells me that my report is now on her desk and she will review it tomorrow. (Can I believe her? I hope so. Naivete #1.) After she reviews it and the only changes that need to be made are typographical (really? Licensing Worker is good enough that we can trust that? and she'll make them in a timely fashion? I'm feeling less confident already...), it goes to the program manager who should sign off on it "in the next week or so." Oh please.
So perhaps, just maybe, it is possible that with the start of the new year, I will have my license. With help from the external Absolute.