FosterAbba, who is much better about linking to other people and previous posts than I am, just commented on my last post reminding me that she would have asked for a removal long ago if she were fostering Sabrina. My highlighting this is NOT, NOT, NOT to be read as a comment on her approach to parenting. It is because it reminded me of something else that happened this morning.
When I was on the phone with the social worker's supervisor's supervisor, he made noises indicating that he at least expected me to ask for Sabrina to be removed, if not outright asked me if I wanted it, but honestly at this point I don't remember exactly what he said or asked. After all, I had a four year old yanking on my hair and I was in tears at the time. But I do remember then spelling something about ICPC and her "f-a-t-h-e-r" (which he then asked me to say or spell again because he didn't catch it; look, it's not like the time I spelled "o-b-s-t-i-n-a-t-e" when I was on the phone with my mom, even though Sabrina probably doesn't know what "obstinate" means) and how if the Agency had submitted the referral in a timely fashion, this wouldn't be an issue, and how Sabrina is really smart and sweet when she isn't biting/hitting/pulling hair. In other words, "why is your default opinion that I'm going to mess this kid's life up even more?"
Then when we finally got to school, 35 minutes late even though we were on track to get to school in time for breakfast, and I told the teacher about our morning so far, her teacher asked me if I was "going to keep her."
This whole situation makes me wonder if I'm really up to being a foster parent; if I can't handle a four year old who DOESN'T have issues like ODD, RAD, FASD (as far as I know), etc., how will I parent a kid who DOES have those issues?
So no, I'm not asking for Sabrina to be removed. She'll go to her dad's for an extended visit over Christmas and then come back until dad's state takes care of his home study and such. (That time will be A.W.F.U.L. but I'm just not worrying about it 'til the time comes.) And it doesn't bother me that FosterAbba thinks that's the way to go. But what DOES bother me is that removal is the first thought of professionals who supposedly have the interests of kids at heart.