At Shabbat lunch today (a lunch that I had NO intention of going to, until the 3 year old invited me) a friend was telling me about some trouble that she is having with medical bills. This friend has more health problems than anyone I know, but thankfully at the moment she is in good health.
For Chanukah, she asked her birth parents for money to pay her most recent hospital bill. Her birth parents instead bought her a DVD player. This, after the last time she asked for money to pay medical bills, they gave her a TV. And another time they gave her a Tiffany bracelet that she learned cost in the neighborhood of $5000. When my friend has complained, her "Mommy" (birth parents are Mommy and Daddy) said that "you have an Ima and Abba to help with medical bills." Ima and Abba are her adoptive parents, who have eight other kids (7 of whom are actually cousins whose parents were killed in a car accident) and don't have spare money lying around. After hearing this tale, I'm a little annoyed at her birth parents.
For Chanukah, I got a very significant chunk of change from my grandmother. I'm now thinking of using some of it to help my friend. So here are my questions:
1. Do I give it anonymously or openly?
2. Will she be offended?
3. Are there other factors I should consider?
4. If I want to give it anonymously, how (practically/logistically) do I do that?
Thanks for your help!