Subtitle: am I focusing too much on my frustrations?
Last night someone asked me if I'm really ready for this (parenting, foster parenting...). I am trying to think rationally about this and recognize that he was trying to encourage reflection, not that he was implying that I'm NOT ready. Or at least that's what I hope.
My response was that I don't think anyone is ever ready, at least not completely. You learn something new about the kiddo in your home every day, and no two kiddos are the same, have the same issues, respond in the same way. So while every day has had frustrations, every day has had good moments, too. Am I really not ready, just because I can't get Sabrina to go to bed and stay in bed in her own room? Am I really not ready, just because getting in and out of the car is a struggle? Am I really not ready, just because I have some trouble with consistently following through with consequences? (I know, I know...I'm working on this one.)
I am very thankful for my real-life friends who, though they haven't met Sabrina or seen me parenting her, have expressed nothing but confidence, support, and encouragement for my efforts. And for My Sister who told me that one of her students (age 3-5 with some sort of severe disability) cried for 90 minutes straight today. My Sister, who is my model for parenting and who has gobs of experience as a special ed teacher.
So this post is not a plea for props, because I get enough of those, but I do hope that you will leave a comment answering this question: Does the content of my posts imply that I am not ready for foster parenting (perhaps because they are too negative/one-sided), or does the content of my posts indicate that on the contrary I AM ready? Or any other thoughts related to this issue :-) Yes, the person who asked me this question is likely to read this post. No, I am not trying to justify myself. I think it was an important question, even if it did play into my raging insecurity! And since I am so insecure, I would like to hear from you, my adoring fans who are experienced with fostering and adopting and social working, whether my response to the question was correct.
But I'm a MESS!
15 hours ago